Suicidal Tendencies
by Insanity-5pak
Summary: Emotions become fatal as a series of events pushes the Lyoko gang further and further into a deep depression.
1. Morning Glory

Disclaimer: He-eey guys, guess what I don't own…. CODE LYOKO!

**Suicidal Tendencies**

**Chapter One**

**Morning Glory**

Urlich woke up to the sound of his alarm clock blaring in his ear. He swiped at the device, knocking it off its stand, sending it crashing to the floor. It broke upon impact, awakening Odd at the other side of the room. He sat up, rubbing at his eyes and said, "What's all the noise about?"

Urlich sat up in bed, his hair sticking out in places, and a frown on his face. He suddenly realized that he felt very strange. As if he were mad at something or someone but he didn't know why. It looked like it was going to be another bad day for him. Urlich stood up, gathered his things and walked out of the room without a word to Odd.

About an hour later, Urlich and Odd were walking towards the cafeteria. Odd asked, "Hey man what's wrong with you today? You've been grumpy ever since you got up."

Urlich shrugged, saying, "I don't really know. I just don't feel good today I guess. Is that wrong or something?"

"No, I was just wondering. Sorry man."

The two walked into the cafeteria and got in line. They stacked a variety of food on their plates, and then went to a table occupied by their friends. As they sat down Aelita said, "Good morning guys."

Odd replied with a happy, "Morning Aelita." but Urlich just concentrated on his food, not saying anything to anyone. Jeremy said, "Hey Urlich, what's wrong with you?"

Urlich swallowed his food and said, "Nothing's wrong with me, I just don't feel good today, that's all."

Jeremy was slightly taken back by this sudden burst of anger and said, "Ok ok, sorry Urlich. I didn't mean anything by it."

Urlich looked at him for a moment and said, "Ah, sorry Jeremy. I'm just not feeling like myself today."

Yumi, who had been mostly playing with her food up until now, said, "I know what you mean. I feel weird today too. It's like I'm having the energy sucked out of me."

Aelita looked back and forth between the two and said, "Well, I'm sure after a good meal you two will feel just fine."

Yumi and Urlich replied in unison, "Hope so."

Odd licked the syrup off his face and said to Urlich, "Hey you gonna finish that?"

Urlich glared at Odd for a moment before putting another bite into his mouth and turned away from the boy. Odd shrugged and left for seconds. He thought to himself as he left, "Looks like today's going to be a long day."


	2. Drama Queen

Don't mind the slight change in writing style and point of view. It's just to add flavor to the story. I know I don't do too well with character development, and these chapters have been pretty short, but please bare with me.

**Chapter Two**

**Drama Queen**

It was an ordinary day at an ordinary school for ordinary students. And yet today was NOT going to be ordinary for one student. A Sissi Delmas walked down the hollow halls of her school, intent on looking her best to those around her. Feelings of pride, greed, and at times, envy, rushed through her head as she put on her best face for her "fans". Rounding a corner, she came upon the one group that defied her superiority, and held the most valuable prize to her desire. Urlich Stern, surrounded by his friends, sat in the courtyard, conversing over matters not concerning the high-class girl. However, what did concern her was the fact that said Urlich Stern was with these people instead of her. This was the one flaw in Sissi's perfect little world, and my how she had tried to end that flaw. And yet, all of her advances on Urlich had been stopped or at times, reversed in a horrible way. Just thinking about this caused the girl's blood to boil. And try as she might, she could not help but place the blame on her beloved Urlich. It was his fault that her world was not in perfect order, and so of course she would be mad at him. This anger was making it much harder to be nice and accommodating to him, but Sissi was still determined to make Urlich hers. She decided to try and start a conversation with him… again, and see where it got her. Most likely, a joke from Odd Della-Robbia, or a comment from Yumi Ishyama would be the result, but then again, nothing ventured nothing gained.

She approached the group casually, easily attracting their attention. She ignored the other members of this forbidden group and approached Urlich. She put on her best face and said, "Hey Urlich."

Urlich simply shrugged off her greeting and looked away from her, with a face that seemed to say, "I know what's coming and I know I won't like it."

Sissi felt yet another pang of anger hit her at so rude a greeting, but her smile stayed up and she said, "Well I just came to ask…"

Urlich interrupted her, still not looking at her, by saying, "Listen Sissi, could you bother me some other time? I'm kind of busy right now."

Sissi's smile was beginning to falter. This "friendly" conversation was not going as planned. Sissi tried to sound reasonably friendly, a very difficult task, as she replied, "You were just sitting here talking. I didn't even interrupt you when I said hello."

Odd chuckled at the situation, jumped off the back of the bench and continued watching the scene unfold, trying to see if he could guess from experience exactly what each person was going to say. Yumi just glared at the girl as the conversation went on.

"Well, I was just trying to have a nice conversation for once, but it seems you and your friends don't know how to have one," Sissi continued.

Odd said, "I'm surprised you can have a conversation at all, let alone a nice one."

There was a small amount of chuckling, mainly from Odd and Aelita Stone, but everyone else seemed to ignore the comment. Urlich said, "Well we were just about to leave, so if you'll excuse us, then we'll get back to what we were doing."

Urlich stood up and walked around the bench, turning away from Sissi. He wanted to end this conversation now. He was in no mood to talk to Sissi right now. But she wasn't going to let him just walk away from her. Oh no, no one just walked away from her.

"You know, you probably should fix that attitude of yours. It's probably why your parents hate you so much."

Urlich stopped at this. Sissi's mind registered what she had just said, and given Urlich's foal mood, this was probably one of the worst things to say to him. Urlich clenched his fist in rage. He had been wanted to hit something all day. To cause something else besides himself pain. Sissi's big mouth was the perfect target. Just as Urlich lost control of his arm and turned around, he saw something else in front of him. A black shape crossed the distance between him and Sissi faster than he had thought possible. There was an echoing thud and a yelp of pain, and Sissi stumbled backwards, clutching her face. Yumi picked the surprised girl up and held her up in the air. Yumi had been in just as bad a mood as Urlich, and it was showing now, as she held the frightened Sissi in midair.

"Listen princess! None of us are in any mood for your mouth! So for once just shut up and leave us alone!"

Yumi threw her to the ground and walked off. Everyone was rather shocked by Yumi's actions, but they all turned and walked away from the bruised girl. Sissi looked after them and mentally cursed at herself. She shouldn't have tried to insult Urlich, why had she done that? She picked herself up off the ground and stared at her feet. She wasn't so much mad at them as she was at herself. She knew that insults wouldn't work so why did she use them? She couldn't believe how infantile she had acted. In other words… she pretty much hated herself right now.

* * *

The five friends walked away from Sissi. After a minute of silence Jeremy spoke up saying, "Uh, Yumi, I know you're mad, but don't you think that was a bit much?" 

Yumi, still very angry, glared at Jeremy and replied, "I don't have the patience to put up with her today."

Urlich nodded and said, "Neither do I, especially if she's going to start using such childish insults to get at me."

Odd said, "Well, still, I think hitting Sissi was a bit overkill. I mean, what if she tries to get you in trouble. You're having enough parent trouble as it is, Yumi."

Yumi sighed and replied, "Yeah, I know. But she's just so annoying and insulting. I can't stand her on a normal day, let alone today."

Everyone seemed to accept this and no one spoke up as they walked away from the scene. Really and truly, none of them were in a mood to deal with such things. Emotions were running abnormally high today in this normal school.


	3. It's ok to Feel Sad

**Chapter Three**

**It's ok to Feel Sad**

Sissi walked to her next class in a sort of daze. Her cheek still stung from the blow Yumi had dealt earlier, but it was no longer as bad as before. However, Sissi began to realize something was very wrong with her. Strange thoughts kept creeping into her mind. Thoughts of knives, screams, and blood.

"No, I would never do that. That's insane."

She tried to reason with herself, but the thoughts continued to haunt her. Depression. It engulfed her. She despised herself, she hated herself. She was a mockery of human life. She did not deserve to live.

"NO! That's not true! I'm just an ordinary person! I'm happy and have friends and a good life!"

Thoughts of suicide and death crossed her mind. Blood everywhere, Urlich crying, Yumi cursing herself for it. Sissi smiled. It would be so magnificent.

"But no… no I can't do that. I would never ever kill myself."

Sissi began to think of her life and what it was worth. Vanity, pride, envy. These were the qualities of her life. Was it worth enough to be remembered? To be cared about at all?

"You're wrong. My life has purpose. I am worth something! People do care about me, they do!"

Disgusting, vile, rejected from true joy and friendship. You are worthless.

"YOU'RE LYING! I'M NOT WORTHLESS, I'M NOT!"

SUICIDE! MURDER! RAPE! THAT IS THE WORTH OF YOUR LIFE!

"NO!"

The bell rang. Sissi snapped back into reality. It was over. The thoughts were gone. But her heart was still heavy. She picked up her books and left the classroom, alone. It's such a lonely day today.

* * *

Yumi was beginning to regret her earlier actions. Maybe Sissi really didn't deserve that. Yumi had been pretty mad, maybe she had overreacted.

"Well, I can't do anything about it now. I'll just have to apologize later. But I know I won't like it."

Urlich was thinking thoughts along the same lines. He realized that his strange wave of grouchiness had passed and he felt good again. But now he was wondering if maybe he should have tried to stop Yumi earlier. After all, he was kind of the cause of the conflict, so wasn't it his responsibility for what happened?

"No, I can't control those two. What they do is up to them."

Urlich decided that he'd go visit Sissi after school today and apologize to her for Yumi. He hoped that she wouldn't try to use the situation to make him go out with her or something.

"Maybe for once she'll act like a decent human being," he thought as he exited the classroom.

* * *

Sissi walked down the hall, passing the smiling, laughing students.

BLOOD!

She shook her head to try and rid herself of the thought, but when she closed her eyes, she only received an even more vivid picture of the carnage that plagued her thoughts. So much blood, so many tears. So senseless. So unnecessary. Just like her.

Sissi wanted to cry, but the tears refused to form. Her own mind was trying to kill her. Where was the happiness she remembered from so long ago? Where was hope?

Sissi stared at the bare door to her room. She wished her mind were as bare as the door in front of her. Why is living so painful a thing to do?


	4. Shattered

Note: Things do get a little violent here. Just a little warning, there will be blood, self-torture, and self-loathing to come. Just so you know.

**Chapter Four**

**Shattered**

Sissi walked into her room and threw her things on the bed. She locked the door out of habit, then she sat down and leaned back onto the pillow. She closed her eyes, and tried to clear her head again, but more images and thoughts were pushed into her head. They were so vivid and so real that for a brief moment, she thought they were really happening. She opened her eyes again and sighed. Why couldn't she clear her head? Why was she thinking these things? None of this made any sense. She had no reason to be depressed. She was happy.

"I am happy, aren't I? What do I have to be depressed about?"

What do you have to be happy about? Where is the joy in your life?

"Shut up! I have plenty to be happy about! I… I have… I'm…"

She could think of nothing. No happiness, no joy, nothing. Just a big, black void. She stood up and began pacing around the room.

"I have friends that care about me… don't I?"

Friends that only wish to feed off your "popularity".

"Ha! So I'm popular. That's a good thing."

Oh yes, after all I'm sure your being the principal's daughter has nothing to do with your "popularity".

"No, it doesn't. I'm liked for who I am."

That's a riot! Who are you anyway? A spoiled, selfish, snob who condescends to others and believes herself to be the peak of perfection. You have no real friends. Only people that fear you, or wish to use you. Is that true friendship?

"You're wrong! You're lying!"

Prove it!

"NO!"

Sissi was screaming out loud now. Why was she being tormented by her own emotions? Why was this happening?

She could hear people moving around outside in the halls now. They must be looking for the source of the scream. Sissi just ignored them. She had other things on her mind.

"No, no. You're wrong. I don't know why you're telling me these things, but they're lies! All of them are lies!"

You know that there is no reason for you to live. You are only a mockery of human life. Cease your existence! End this charade and let go of the body you do not deserve!

"Shut up! Shut up!"

Sissi clutched her head, as if trying to ward off the thoughts and voices inside of her, but they only continued to grow stronger and stronger. There were several people shouting to her from outside her door now. Sissi reached her vanity and looked up at the image of herself in the mirror. She saw her face staring back at her. She could see the torment in her own eyes.

Destroy it.

"No…"

You do not deserve it. Destroy it. Leave it. It is not yours by right.

"No please… please stop."

Ugly

"No."

Vile

"You're wrong."

Disgusting

"Please go away."

DESTROY IT!

"NO!"

Sissi picked up her make up kit and hurled into the mirror, smashing it into dozens of pieces. But the voices didn't stop.

You can not hide the truth! End this lie now!

"I will not listen to you!"

Why do you deny the truth!

"Because I want to live!"

Suddenly, Sissi heard a voice. A voice that was so familiar. It was coming from the other side of the door. It was his voice. It was Ulrich.

"Sissi! Sissi, what's going on? Unlock the door."

Sissi looked at the door, and said in a small voice, "Ulrich? Ulrich why… why are you here?"

Ulrich answered, "Sissi, what's wrong? Who are you talking to?"

Sissi said, mostly to herself and the voice in her head, "Hah, you see Ulrich came to help me. He cares about me. You were wrong."

Sissi walked to the door, reached out her hand, and was so close to unlocking it when the voice began again.

How selfish. Do not unlock it. He does not deserve it.

Sissi said, "You can't accept the fact that you're wrong, can you?"

I'm not wrong. Why should you open that door? To put Ulrich through more of the pain and torment that you cause by simply existing? Do you want to hurt him? He does not care about you. He does not love you. You only bring him pain and misery. If you wish to bring him happiness, destroy yourself.

"No, just stop. You've lost, now let me go."

Fool of a girl, you can not see the truth! Your life is a lie, your love is a lie, YOU are a lie! Have you no soul? Are you so selfish? Do you not see the misery you have put him and his friends through? Now is the time for you to make amends for what you have done. End your life! Leave this world, his world. Let him have the happiness that you can not give him!

"No, stop it stop it STOP IT!"

She had been so close. All she had to do was unlock the door. But now the chance was gone. The voice was taking over again. Sissi no longer knew what to do. She was scared, because in her heart, she believed the voice. Her mind told her to die, her body wanted desperately to live. What should she do? Ulrich's voice came through the door again, "Sissi, Sissi what's happening?"

Sissi heard his voice, and she felt everything fall away. Thoughts of Ulrich passed through her head, and she knew what she had to do. She wanted him to be happy. She could not bring him happiness.

"Ulrich, I'm sorry."

Ulrich said back, "Sissi, what are you doing? Sissi? Sissi!"

Sissi bent down and pick up one of the shards of glass. She could still see her reflection in it. The beautiful body that she inhabited stared back at her. She didn't deserve a body like this. She brought the shard of glass up to her face and pressed it hard against her cheek. Blood began to trickle out of the cut in the delicate skin. She dragged the shard down the side of her face, leaving a long gash in her cheek, and tiny rivulets of blood running down her face. She then administered the same treatment to the other cheek, destroying the beautiful, delicate flesh that she wore over her ugly mind. She placed the glass against her forehead, and was about to make yet another cut, when suddenly there was a loud bang, and the door buckled under the weight of something. This shocked Sissi, causing her to drag the glass downward. She had barely realized what was happening, when she felt the razor sharp blade cut into her fragile eye. She screamed in pain from the unexpected damage, and dropped the glass, clutching her eye. Tears formed in her working eye as she held her hand over the now useless organ. The door buckled again. Sissi picked the shard back up and pushed it into her wrist. She was going to end everything now. No more pain, no more happiness, nothing. She dragged the glass over her wrist, cutting as deep as she could. She then used her last strength to slash the other wrist. It was over. She had done it.

The door buckled once more and gave way to Ulrich, who smashed his way into the room. He saw Sissi, lying on the ground, blood pouring from her face and arms. For a brief moment, he panicked, unsure of what to do. Then he turned to the shocked students behind him and said, "Go get help!"

Ulrich rushed over to Sissi and began to take off his jacket to use to try and bandage her wounds. As he began trying to wrap up her wrists, Sissi said to him, "Ulrich… are you… happy?"

Ulrich responded, "Sissi, don't talk. You have to conserve your strength."

Sissi only replied, "I want you… to be… happy…"

Sissi's eyes closed and she slipped into unconsciousness. She heard Ulrich faintly say, "Please just hold on," then he was gone. The voice in her head spoke up one last time.

What is the worth of happiness?


	5. Repaired with Damage

Note: I'm not picking favorites or anything, I just want you to know that. I'm not putting any characters down or lifting any up. Just had to get that out in the open.

**Chapter Five**

**Repaired with Damage**

Yumi sat outside the school at the usual bench, waiting for her friends to show up. They were unusually late today. She was about to go look for them when suddenly Odd came running up to her. She said, "Hey, why are you guys so late, and where's everyone else?"

Odd stopped in front of her, and Yumi could then tell something was wrong. Odd had a serious look on his face as he said, "Something's happened. Sissi… tried to kill herself."

"What?" Yumi shouted as she stood up, shocked by the news.

"Yeah. Ulrich said she had been in her room, screaming at someone who wasn't there, then he bashed through the locked door and found that she had slashed her wrists open. Some ambulances just came by and got her. Ulrich, Jeremy, and Aelita are already going to the hospital. They told me to come get you."

Yumi couldn't believe what she was hearing. Sissi had tried to kill herself? She was the last person Yumi would suspect of committing suicide. Yumi said to Odd, "Come on. Let's go meet the others."

Odd nodded and the two took off from the school towards the hospital. As Yumi ran she felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She felt that it was her fault Sissi had done this. She should have never attacked her. Yumi regretted her mistakes now, now that it was too late.

Yumi and Odd arrived at the hospital to find their friends waiting for them. Yumi ran up to Ulrich and said, "How is she?"

Ulrich answered, "Better, now that we got her here, but still not in very good shape. She lost a lot of blood, and she cut one of her wrists so deep that that hand is useless. Other than that the doctors think she'll be ok."

Jeremy said, "It was Ulrich who saved her. He was the one that got into the room and acted fast enough to keep her alive."

Aelita nodded and added, "Yeah. He acted very calmly and quickly. Sissi owes him her life."

Yumi smiled at Ulrich as he just nodded and blushed ever so slightly at the compliments. She was glad everything was ok. But then another wave of guilt and anger washed over her. It quickly faded, but she still felt it. Yumi shook the feeling off and sat down with her friends to wait andfind outwhen they could see Sissi.

* * *

Sissi lay in a hospital bed, seeming asleep at first. The five friends had finally managed to visit her, but it seemed that she was asleep. Sissi had bandages over the wounds on her cheeks, and her eye was covered with a patch. She had several tubes in her arms, and her wrists were also covered. Everyone was wondering if they should leave when Sissi heard them and said, "I'm not sleeping… just tired."

Everyone came in and took a seat, no one speaking. Sissi's heavy breathing and the machinery around her were the loudest sounds in the room. Finally Yumi spoke up saying, "Sissi… I'm sorry. This is my fault. I made you do this to yourself. I'm sorry."

Sissi shifted in bed to look at Yumi. For a moment Yumi thought she would be angry at her. Hate her, want her dead. Yumi wouldn't blame her if she did. But then Sissi smiled weakly at her and said, "No. I did this. Don't worry about it. In fact, now I'm… I'm happy. Before, when I was in my room, I couldn't remember what happiness was. I could only see hate… and sadness. But now, now I can remember the good things in my life. I can see what truly makes me happy. I feel so much better now."

Ulrich said, "Sissi… why did you do that though? What caused you to want you to kill yourself?"

Sissi thought for a moment, and then answered, "It was… a part of me, of my mind I think. I… remember hearing something say to me, "Kill yourself, you don't deserve to live," and other things like that. All I could think about was death. Like I said, I couldn't remember happiness or anything like that. I felt scared, alone, and worthless. I began to believe the voice in my head. I thought that I was worthless, that I was just a cause of misery to others. And then… when I heard your voice Ulrich, I couldn't stand the thought of causing you harm, and so I tried to kill myself. I'm glad it didn't work."

Yumi shifted in her chair and said, "Are you sure it wasn't what I did earlier that caused it?"

Sissi replied, "Maybe. I don't know. I don't blame you for what's happened Yumi, so don't worry."

Aelita spoke up, "Well, I'm just glad you're ok."

Jeremy and Odd added, "Me too."

A nurse appeared at the door and said, "Sorry to bother you, but I'm afraid visiting time is over."

Everyone nodded, stood up, bid Sissi their good-byes and left. They walked outside to find Yumi's parents waiting to take her home. Yumi said good-bye to her friends and got in her parents' car and left the hospital. Yumi arrived home minutes later and went up into her room. She sat on her bed, slightly overwhelmed by all that had happened today. She laid back and tried to sort her thoughts out, calm herself down. However for just a brief moment, Yumi was suddenly overcome by the most powerful feeling of guilt she had ever felt. It was so bad that Yumi clutched at her heart as it passed over her. Then the feeling was gone, and Yumi was back to normal. She decided to ignore the guilt, saying to herself, "Sissi said she didn't blame me, and besides she's ok now. Everything's ok."

Yumi got dressed into her night clothes and laid down to sleep. Just as she was drifting off to sleep, she could have sworn she heard a voice say something.

How can you be sure?


	6. Schizophrenia

**Chapter Six**

**Schizophrenia**

It had been several days since Sissi's suicide attempt, and everything was beginning to calm down again. Sissi was having her left hand removed and replaced with a fake, seeing as that hand had been nearly completely severed. Other than that, the girl was fine. Yumi, however, was the one with problems now. She had been hearing a voice in her room off and on over the past few days, always telling her that things weren't ok. She ignored the voices, saying that they were just her imagination, and that it was just caused by Sissi actions. But Yumi couldn't keep ignoring the waves of guilt that continued to press down on her. The waves were happening more and more frequently, and they were growing stronger. Yumi had to find some way to stop this, so she decided to tell someone about it. She decided to talk to Ulrich about the strange feelings she had been having lately.

Ulrich and Yumi were walking through the school yard, heading towards Yumi's house. Ulrich had promised to walk with her since she had wanted to tell him something. When they were further away from the crowds of students, Yumi said, "Ulrich, I've been feeling a little… weird lately."

Ulrich looked at Yumi and asked, "What do you mean? Weird how?"

"Well, you see, I've been having these strong feelings of guilt a lot. I guess I've been blaming myself for what happened to Sissi. I know it's not my fault and all, but still I keep feeling like I AM to blame. And the more I think about, the more I feel like it's true. Like I was the cause of what Sissi did. I can't make these feelings go away. They just keep getting stronger and stronger. I'm starting to worry that pretty soon, I might not be able to stand them any more. I don't know what I would do then."

Ulrich listened carefully to everything Yumi said. When she had finished he seemed to think over all that she had said before he put an arm around her shoulder and said, "Listen, I know you've heard it before but it wasn't your fault. Sissi was just…"

Yumi interrupted him by pulling away from him and saying, "But what if it was my fault!"

Ulrich looked at the girl for a moment with an unreadable look on his face before saying, "And what if it was Yumi? Does it matter now? Sissi's ok, you're ok, no one is hurt. It doesn't matter whether it was your fault, her fault, my fault, or Kiwi's fault. All that matters is that no one was seriously hurt. Everything's ok now Yumi, really. Just let this whole thing go. Don't worry about it anymore, ok?"

Ulrich put his hands on Yumi's shoulders and smiled at her, trying to comfort her. Yumi smiled back and said, "Thanks Ulrich."

The two continued their walk to Yumi's house, where they parted ways. Yumi went up to her room, and fell on her bed. She smiled to herself, and thought, "Ulrich's right everything's ok."

Is it?

Yumi looked up. The voice, it was talking again.

Is everything ok Yumi? Oh no, far from it.

Yumi looked around, trying to find the source of the voice. She said out loud, "Who's there?"

Can't you recognize your own conscience? How very sad. But no Yumi, everything is not ok in your little world.

Yumi shook her head and said, "I must be going crazy."

Maybe you are crazy, maybe not. But that doesn't justify your actions as of late.

"Oh I see, so I am going crazy. And now little voices in my head are going to start telling me that I killed Sissi, and that I should kill someone else to make up for it. Am I right?"

But of course. Kill yourself. Death is the answer to all problems.

Yumi nodded and smiled to herself.

"Yup, well then I think I'm going to go watch t.v. now."

Yumi, I'm still talking to you.

"Screw you pal. I'm not listening to some freaky voice in my head that's going to tell me to kill myself. Come back if I ever get drunk and then we'll talk."

DON'T IGNORE ME!

Yumi suddenly fell to her knees, clutching her chest. Her heart felt like it was being ripped in two! Her mind was being filled with horrible noises. Then they were gone, and Yumi was ok again. She stood up, panting slightly, and said, "What… what was that?"

How much pain and agony can you take before you see the truth?

"What do you mean?"

Yumi, either you go through life with the weight of your sins on your shoulders, or you can end it all now.

"What's your problem? I have no reason to kill myself, and what sins have I committed?"

Yumi's head began to fill with images and sounds again. Her parents were fighting, screaming at each other. Ulrich was watching her with William with a horrible look in his eyes. There was blood running over a floor covered in broken glass. She could see Lyoko, and the times someone else had put themselves in harms way to save her. Suddenly the images disappeared, but Yumi's heart was still filled with despair and guilt.

Do you see now? Do you remember, or are all those people not worth remembering?

"Shut up. That's not true. I've never done anything to deserve death so…"

But you do not deserve life, either. So there for, you do deserve death. Admit it.

"No!"

Yumi stood in her room, clutching her chest, waiting for a response. She heard nothing. The voice was gone again. But she could still feel the guilt in her heart. It was not leaving with the voice like it should. Yumi sighed and shook her head. She heard her mom call her down to eat. She hoped that maybe this would all go away after a nice meal.


	7. Love and Hate

**Chapter Seven**

**Love and Hate**

Yumi was in class, finishing a test. Just as she answered the last problem, she heard something.

My, what a smart girl you are. And yet you are too ignorant to realize the truth.

"Not now." Yumi thought to herself, or rather the voice.

Why not now? Give all your classmates a show. Entertain them, scar them for life. Have fun doing it.

"No, now leave me alone."

My, what a selfish little girl you are. Sucking the life out of your friends, destroying their happiness. You are truly disgusting.

"Leave, now!"

No. Not until you see the truth. Face the facts child, death is the only way out of this for you. Don't you care?

"I don't care about anything you have to say! I don't want to die, I don't need to die, I do not have to die!"

So blind! You can not see the horrible pain you are causing everyone. Making your mother and father fight all the time. Think of your brother! Causing such fits of jealousy and self-loathing in Ulrich by flirting with William. And let's not forget your costly errors on Lyoko! Tell me, what good has come of your existence?

At first Yumi thought that this was a silly question, but as she probed her mind, she could recall no incidents of her being of use. She knew that she had helped before, she was sure of it. But she could not remember any. They did happen, didn't they?

"Well, just because I can't recall any right now, doesn't mean anything."

Stop lying to yourself. I know you. I know that you, are, worthless.

"No! Just please leave me alone!"

Suddenly, a multitude of garbled, loud voices filled her head. Yumi clutched her head in pain at the distorted speech in her mind. She rose from her seat, walked up to the teacher's desk, laid her paper down, and said, "I have to see the nurse." She then left without another word.

Yumi stumbled down the hall, the pain in her mind making her dizzy and confused. Her chest was aching as well from feelings of despair, loneliness, and fear. She did not know how long she had walked before she bumped into someone. She looked up and saw that it was none other than Ulrich standing in front of her. Seeing him caused the voices to disappear and the pain to subside.

"Yumi? What are you doing out here? Are you ok?"

Yumi gathered her thoughts for a moment before saying, "Yeah, I'm alright. I… don't know why I'm out here."

Ulrich looked at the girl with a worried look and said, "You look pale, are you alright?"

Yumi nodded, not looking at Ulrich, and answered, "Yeah just fine."

Yumi started to walk away, but Ulrich grabbed her hand and said, "Tell me what's wrong Yumi, please."

Yumi stared at the ground for a moment before saying, "Someone's telling me to… hurt myself."

Ulrich asked, with a hint of anger in his voice, "Who?"

Yumi continued to stare at the ground, not answering. Ulrich turned her to him so that they were face to face and asked, "Who's telling you this Yumi?"

Yumi glanced away from Ulrich again and said, "My mind."

Ulrich stared at her hard, as if he were taking in what she had just said. He then turned her face to him once more and said, "You mean… you want yourself to…die?"

Yumi shook her head and said, "No. No, I don't want to die. But something keeps eating away at me from the inside, and I don't know what to do!"

Tears were beginning to form on the edge of Yumi's eyes. Ulrich was unsure of what to say. Yumi said, "I don't know what to do. I'm constantly feeling guilty for things I can't even remember, and all the time, a voice in my head is telling me that I'm worthless, to kill myself. I don't want to die, but I don't… I don't know how much longer I can last. I get so scared, so sad, and for no real reason. I can't take it anymore!"

Ulrich pulled the crying Yumi to him, and held her in a gentle embrace. Yumi was slightly shocked by this, but gladly accepted the gesture. Ulrich said, "Yumi…I know that I can't just tell you that the voice is wrong and you should ignore it, but… I want you to know that you're definitely not worthless. You're pretty, smart, funny, and really nice. Plus, you've saved my butt countless times, and you've done the same for all the others. I know it'll be hard, but I know you can overcome the voice in your head. I'll help you, but you have to tell me, ok? I promise that I won't let anything, even your own mind, hurt you. Ok?"

Yumi looked at Ulrich, smiled and nodded. She said, "Thanks Ulrich."

Ulrich smiled back and replied, "Yeah. You should probably go now. I'm sure your teacher misses you. Just remember, any time you need me, tell me."

Yumi nodded and turned back towards her class. She looked back and said, "Ulrich?"

Ulrich turned back and said, "Yeah?"

Yumi smiled at the boy and said, "You really think I'm pretty?"

Ulrich scratched his head and replied, "Yeah."

Yumi waved to Ulrich before turning and walking back to her class.

* * *

Ulrich returned to his classroom and took his seat next to Jeremy, Odd, and Aelita. Odd asked, "What took you? Did you decide to go to the factory to use the bathroom or something?"

Ulrich said, "Guys, I think we need to keep an eye on Yumi."

Jeremy and Aelita turned to face him as he continued, "She's not been feeling too well. She says she's constantly feeling guilty for things she didn't do, and is even hearing voices that are telling her to kill herself."

Aelita said, "Yumi would never do that!"

Jeremy looked at her and said, "Yeah, and neither would Sissi."

Ulrich nodded and said, "He's right. Something's up, I'm sure of it. Yumi's way too depressed for this to just be about that whole Sissi thing. And I'm starting to suspect that Sissi had the same problem before she tried to bleed to death. Something's wrong."

Everyone agreed and Jeremy said, "Well then, I guess I'll do a scan later today, see if Xana's woken up. If he's behind this, then we'll need to go to Lyoko and put a stop to it."

"Hey, you four in the back, pay attention!"

Everyone turned around at the command of the teacher, and class resumed.


	8. Situational Irony

**Chapter Eight**

**Situational Irony**

Yumi tried to cover her head with a pillow, but the voices still pierced the fabric and reached her ears. Her parents had been arguing for at least an hour now, and by the looks of things, there was still an hour left. Yumi was so tired of all this senseless fighting.

"Why do they fight like this? What's the point?" Yumi asked herself.

Because of you, of course.

"No. Not now. Please."

Now is the best time, my dear. See the truth laid bare before you. Listen to their words of rage, and know that you are the cause of it all.

"That's a lie and you know it."

Is it really? Can you be sure? Why don't you ask them? Tell them how you feel. If they truly care about you, they will help you.

"Fine then, I will. And you'll see that my parents don't hate me or anything."

Yumi stood up and walked out into the hall. She was going to prove to this annoying voice that it was wrong. She looked into her little brother's room and saw that he had turned his t.v. up as loud as possible to try and ignore the voices. Yumi then walked down the hall and into the living room. There her mother and father stood, as if in the middle of a battle. Both looked flustered and out of breath. As Yumi walked in and was about to speak, her father said, "Yumi, now is not a good time."

"But Dad, I just wanted to ask…"

Her mother spoke up now, saying, "Please Yumi, not now."

Yumi was about to try again, but the looks from her parents told her not to even try, so she simply turned around and went back to her room. As she stepped back into her room and closed the door, the voice began again.

You see, I told you. They do not care at all. Why not end their pointless fighting?

"Shut up. This doesn't prove anything. There's still one person who I can talk to."

Yumi picked up her phone and began to dial Ulrich's cell phone.

He won't answer. He does not care.

"Shh."

The phone rang once, twice, thrice. Yumi waited patiently for Ulrich's voice to come through the speaker and restore her confidence. 6 rings, 7 rings, 8. Yumi began to worry. He wasn't answering. Why? 10 rings.

"Hello, this is Ulrich."

Yumi smiled and said, "Ulrich, it's Yumi, I…"

"Sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Please leave a message and I'll call you back."

There was a beep and then silence. Yumi stared at the floor, dejectedly. He wasn't there.

I told you. He didn't answer.

Yumi couldn't believe that Ulrich wouldn't answer. Maybe he was just in the bathroom or something. Maybe Odd had the radio turned up too loud. Maybe…

Are you still lying to yourself? Why is it so hard for us to realize the truth? I've been telling you and telling you and telling you for days now, and yet you still refuse to listen. Why?

Yumi said into the phone, "Sorry Ulrich," and then hung up. She sat there, staring at the floor as her parents voices filled the house. Tears were forming on her eyes. There had to be someone, anyone, who she could talk to. Anyone.

There is no one Yumi. No one.

* * *

Ulrich sat in his room as Odd played an air guitar to some crazy music he downloaded off the web. Then Ulrich's phone rang, it was Jeremy.

"Hello."

"Ulrich, get Odd and go to the factory. Xana has a tower activated!"

"Got it." Ulrich quickly said, and ran over to Odd. He ripped the headphones off the blonde boy and said, "Xana's up, now let's go."

Odd jumped out of bed and the two ran down the stairs and out of the building. They looked around and saw Jeremy and Aelita near by. They ran up to them and Jeremy said, "Guys, I hate to say this, but false alarm."

Odd and Ulrich looked at the boy confused for a moment and then Odd said, "Wait, what?"

Jeremy turned his lab top, which was open, to the two and showed them what looked like a matrix-style background, with a green symbol on it. Jeremy said, "The tower went off by itself right whenever we came out here. I guess, Xana messed up or something."

Ulrich said, "Wait, hasn't he done this before?"

Jeremy replied, "Yeah, but this isn't the first time I've had a glitch like this that was just that, a glitch. It may be nothing for all I know. Maybe we should just wait for a minute and see if anything happens."

Everyone agreed and so they sat on a near by bench, waiting to see if anything happened. After five minutes, Odd said, "Guys, nothing's happening. I think we can call it night, right?"

Jeremy nodded and said, "Guess so. Sorry you guys."

Ulrich and Odd said their goodnights to their friends, and then went up to their rooms. As they went in Ulrich noticed a message on his cell phone. It was from Yumi. Ulrich checked it, and listened to the message.

"Sorry Ulrich."

Ulrich suddenly became worried. Yumi had sounded rather sad in her message. Ulrich decided to call her back and see what was wrong. He dialed in the number and waited for an answer. After about 5 rings, someone picked up. It was Hiroki, Yumi's brother. He sounded rather upset as he said, "H…hello."

Ulrich said, "Hiroki? Can I talk to Yumi?"

There came the sound of loud voices in the background and then Hiroki said, "N…no. You can't."

It sounded like he was crying. Ulrich was getting worried.

"Why, what's wrong?" He asked.

"Because… she's…. dead!"

Ulrich's mind stopped for a brief moment as he heard these words. He began to think, "No, that's not true. That can't be true!"

He said, "Hiroki! This is no time for games. Give Yumi the phone."

The young boy shouted back, "She's dead! She poisoned herself! She won't wake up!"

Hiroki began to cry loudly and then there came the voice of Yumi's mother saying, "Hiroki, put down that phone! We have to get her to the hospital, now!"

Suddenly the call was ended, and Ulrich was left alone. The phone slid out of his hands and hit the floor at his feet. This couldn't be happening. Odd noticed his friends strange expression and asked, "Hey what's wrong man?"

Ulrich simply stood there, eyes staring straight ahead, and said, "Yumi's… tried to… kill herself…"


	9. Comatose

**Chapter Nine**

**Comatose**

Ulrich burst through the hospital doors, and slid to a halt at the front desk.

He quickly asked, "Where's Yumi Ishiyama?"

The startled receptionist said, "Down the hall, to the left, but…" Ulrich ran off without waiting for the rest. Odd followed him closely and Jeremy and Aelita brought up the rear. The four arrived at a waiting room where Mr. and Mrs. Ishiyama and Hiroki were at. They were speaking with a doctor. Ulrich ran up to them and asked, "Yumi, is she ok?"

Yumi's parents just looked at Ulrich with a rather sad expression, and the doctor said, "She's alive."

Ulrich felt as if his whole world had started spinning again. Before he could sigh from relief, however, the doctor continued, "However, she is a coma-like state. Her heart continues to simply stop and start randomly, and it's very hard to keep her alive. Personally, I'm not sure if she'll survive or not. It's very difficult to say."

Ulrich felt the weight of depression sink down on him again. He asked, "Can… can I see her?"

The doctor stared at him for a moment and then said, "Yes."

Ulrich thanked the doctor who directed him towards a door. Ulrich went in, the doctor said only one at a time, and saw Yumi. She was lying on a hospital bed, with several tubes running out of her body, as well as a breathing mask on. She seemed to be sleeping. Ulrich walked up to her and looked down on her. He brushed his hand along the side of her cheeks and through her hair, thinking, "She's so warm, and so soft. It's hard to believe she ever fights at all. And she's so beautiful."

He then said out loud, "Yumi. I'm sorry. This is my fault. I promised you that I'd take care of you. I promised that I wouldn't let anything hurt you. But I did let something hurt you. This is all my fault. Please Yumi, forgive me. I'm so sorry. I should have been there when you called. I should have been there for you."

Ulrich's eyes were fogging up. He blinked back tears that threatened to escape. He said, "Yumi, you can't die. Please Yumi, we need you here. I… need you here. If you die, then I'll die too. Please Yumi."

Ulrich bent down and kissed her gently on her forehead. He wiped his eyes, and turned to leave. He looked back once more as he left, as if hoping to see her eyes opening, and her wonderful smile spreading across her face. She did not move.


	10. Midnight Chatter

**Chapter Ten**

**Midnight Chatter**

Ulrich lay on his bed, trying to sleep. He looked at the clock, seeing that it was past midnight. He sighed and gave up trying to get some rest. His mind was constantly drifting to Yumi. He continually blamed himself for what had happened. He had promised to be there for her, but he hadn't been. He had left her right when she needed him. She wasn't the one that deserved death, it was him. Ulrich flopped back down on his pillow, sighing again, trying to relieve some of the pressure in his heart. Odd stirred from across the room and asked, "Can't sleep either, huh?"

"No," Ulrich replied. "Yumi's in the hospital, maybe dying, and it's all my fault."

Odd sat up and asked, "How's that? What'd you do, go over there and poison her when I wasn't looking?"

Ulrich gave Odd a glare and said, "No, but I abandoned her right when she needed me. She told me the other day that she was hearing voices telling her to kill herself, and I told her I'd help her whenever she needed me. I promised her I'd protect her. But I didn't. The moment she needed me, I left. I should have brought my cell phone with me down there when Jeremy called us, or stayed here or something!"

Odd said, "Ulrich, you can't beat yourself up over this. It was just a bad coincidence. You couldn't have possibly known she was going to call or that Xana would activate a tower. It wasn't you fault man."

Ulrich replied, "Yeah right. I lied to Yumi and broke my promise. I'm the one that deserves to be poisoned, not her."

Odd asked, "You can't mean that, right?"

Ulrich didn't respond. He just put his arm over his eyes, and laid there. Odd said, "You've got me worried now. Guess you're the one we're going to have to watch next, uh?"

Ulrich looked at his friend and asked, "Me? Why?"

"Well look at you, you're acting just like Yumi did after Sissi cut herself. You're blaming yourself for this, saying you don't deserve to live, the whole thing. All you need now is a voice in YOUR head telling you to die and it'd be perfect."

"You think I'd kill myself if Yumi died?"

"Would you?"

Ulrich thought over this for a minute. He suddenly realized that maybe he would. If Yumi died, what reason would he have to live? He tried to think of some, any reason he shouldn't kill himself if he lost Yumi, but he couldn't think of one. He only drew a blank. He knew that he had a reason to live, right? Odd suddenly became worried about his friend's silence and asked, "Hey, Ulrich man, you wouldn't actually do that, would you? I was just joking."

Ulrich didn't answer. He simply continued staring at the ceiling. Odd asked again, "Ulrich. Answer me. If Yumi dies, what will you do?"

Ulrich simply rolled over to face the wall away from Odd and replied, "I don't know."

Odd began to worry more about Ulrich and said, "Ulrich, you can't do that. You wouldn't really… kill yourself would you?"

Ulrich quickly sat up and nearly shouted, "And why wouldn't I! This whole thing started over me anyway! I'm the problem here."

"That's not true and you know it. You didn't do anything."

"And that's the problem. If I had said something, or done something, then I probably could have stopped this, but I didn't. This is my fault, Odd, and no one else's."

Odd couldn't believe what he was hearing. His friend was talking about killing himself, and he didn't know how to talk him out of it. He said, "Ulrich, please listen to me. This isn't your fault, ok? I don't know how you can think that, but you're wrong. You didn't do this. You don't deserve to die, alright? Ulrich are you listening?"

Ulrich stared at the floor for a second before saying, "Yeah, I hear you Odd. Now go to sleep."

Ulrich turned over and faced away from Odd once again, ending the conversation. Odd continued to ask, "Ulrich? Ulrich, you do understand right? You do see what I mean, don't you?"

Without an answer, the boy sighed, and rolled over to try and go back to sleep. Ulrich simply whispered to himself and the night, "No, I don't understand. Not at all."


	11. Romeo and Juliet

**Chapter Eleven**

**Romeo and Juliet**

Ulrich sat in his room, alone. He didn't feel like going outside with the others today and just wanted to be alone. As he sat in his room, waiting to hear any news about Yumi, he continued his self-abuse, constantly telling himself that everything was his fault. Odd had been reluctant to leave him, worrying that his friend might do something drastic if he were left alone. But Odd's need to eat finally caused him to have to leave for "just a minute". Ulrich didn't care if Odd took a minute or an hour; he just wanted to be alone. Ulrich questioned why he was acting so self-abusive, but he always remembered that missed phone call, and that broken promise, and he didn't question it any more.

* * *

Odd, Aelita, and Jeremy sat at a table together, all eating their lunches. Odd said, "I shouldn't leave him alone like this. I need to be there, just in case."

"Don't worry Odd. I'm sure Ulrich won't do anything like that to himself. He's not like that," Aelita said.

Odd scoffed and replied, "Well today he is. He was beating himself up all last night and all this morning. We need to talk to him, help him. I know he wants to be alone, but maybe we should all go up there and talk to him after lunch, ok?"

They all agreed to talk to Ulrich after lunch and finished their meals in silence. As they finished and were walking out of the lunch room, Odd's cell phone rang. He checked and saw that it was from Yumi's cell phone.

* * *

Ulrich's phone was ringing. He looked and saw that the number was Yumi's cell phone. He guessed that it was her family calling him. He answered the call and said into the receiver, "Hello?"

Mrs. Ishiyama was on the other end of the line, and replied, "Hello Ulrich," Ulrich could hear that she was crying, which only made him worry more. "Ulrich, Yumi… she's…"

* * *

Odd looked down at the ground and replied quietly, "I see. I'm sorry." He turned around to face Jeremy and Aelita slowly. They already knew what was coming. He said, "Yumi's… gone."

They had all been expecting it, but they had hoped it wouldn't be true. Silence filled the air around them. There was nothing anyone could say. Aelita was the first one to start crying, but they were all tearing up. Jeremy tried to comfort her, but it hardly helped. Odd then had a horrible thought. He quickly asked Mrs. Ishiyama, "Mrs. Ishiyama, have you called and told Ulrich this?"

The woman replied, "Well… yes. He was the first one I called."

A horrible realization dawned on Odd. He ended the call, and started running towards the school, not bothering to tell his two friends why. He silently prayed that he could get to Ulrich in time.

* * *

Ulrich sat there, with his head against the wall in a daze. He couldn't believe it. It didn't seem possible. But it was true. She was gone. Yumi was dead. And he was the reason why. Ulrich cursed himself. He hated himself. He was a murderer! A liar! He was the one who should die! It hit him then. He would die. He would die and be with Yumi, even though he did not deserve to be. He reached up on his wall and pulled out one of the shurikens he had. He looked over the small blade, and pressed it into his thumb causing a dot of blood to rise up on the spot. He looked into the blade as he thought over what he was about to do. He didn't deserve to live, but he did not deserve to see Yumi again. He was not worthy of life or love. But he decided that this was the best way. He owed Yumi his life, for having ruined hers. And this way, he couldn't hurt anyone else. He stood up, locked the door, and readied himself for what he was about to do. It was going to be over soon. All of it.

Just as he raised the blade up and was about to drive it into himself, he heard someone rattle with the door, trying to open it. Then the person banged on the door and Odd's voice came through it, yelling, "Ulrich unlock the door!"

Ulrich simply replied, "No Odd. I have to do this. I'm sorry."

Odd began to sound desperate, "No Ulrich. Please don't! You can't!"

"I have to!"

"This isn't going to bring her back! Ulrich please, think about this!"

Ulrich became angry and shouted, "I have and this is the best for everyone, got it?"

There came several voices that Ulrich couldn't hear. He raised the blade up and prepared to finish his act. Just as he began to thrust the blade towards him, Odd shouted again, "Ulrich she's alive, Yumi's alive!"

Ulrich's body literally went numb for a moment. There had been no way he had heard that right. She was dead! Wasn't she? Odd shouted again, "There was a glitch, the machine's malfunctioned, and the doctor's thought she had died. But she's alive Ulrich!"

Ulrich couldn't believe what he was hearing. He rushed to the door and threw it open, asking, "Are you sure? Is she ok? What…" Ulrich noticed that his voice sounded strange and weak. He also realized that Odd was staring at his chest in a horrified way. He was also feeling very weak, having trouble breathing, and could feel something wet moving down his body. He looked down and saw the shuriken sticking out of his chest. He realized that he hadn't stopped the thrust, he had only moved it over a little. As his adrenaline left him, he suddenly realized that now he was the one dying. He said to Odd, "Get help…" before passing out.


	12. Failure to Die

**Chapter Twelve**

**Failure to Die**

Yumi opened her eyes. That was when she knew something was wrong. She shouldn't be alive. She had poisoned herself. She should be dead. But she wasn't dead. She sat up and looked around. There was no one else in the room besides her. She then began to realize that there was something different. The voice, the guilt, all of that was gone. It had disappeared. Yumi remembered back to everything the voice had said, and all that she had thought and felt. It had all been wrong. Why had she believed it? Why had she poisoned herself? She could no longer see any reason in it. Just then, the door opened up and a nurse walked in. She gasped when she saw that Yumi was awake. She then turned out the door and said, "The girl's awake!"

Yumi's family and friends came into the room to see her. Suddenly, Yumi was being hugged and shaken and being told how glad everyone was that she ok and she could barely tell what was going on. Finally everyone quieted down enough that Yumi could ask, "What happened?"

Her mother said, "You tried to kill yourself, sweetie. You tried to overdose on some sleeping pills. We brought you to the hospital."

Her father added, "And then these "doctors" came and told us you had died. Then five minutes later they say their machines malfunctioned and you're ok."

Yumi remembered taking the sleeping pills to try and kill herself. She still couldn't remember why. Then she looked around and asked, "Where's Ulrich?"

The happiness seemed to be sucked out of the room. For a moment, no one spoke up, then Jeremy said, "He's here. In the hospital."

Yumi asked, "Well, where is he?"

Jeremy looked at the girl, sadness in his eyes. He said, "Right now, he's in ER, I think. He… just got here. He tried to stab himself to death. I'm sorry Yumi."

It took Yumi a moment to take this in. Ulrich had tried to kill himself? Immediately, Yumi knew why. It was her. She was the cause. She asked, "Is he… ok?"

"He missed his heart and lungs, so he's not dead. But he was bleeding pretty badly. I'm sorry Yumi, I couldn't stop him," Odd said.

"But, he's ok… right?"

Yumi looked around for some assurance that he was alright, but no one seemed to offer any. Just as she was about to lose hope again, someone said, "Yes, he's fine."

Everyone turned to see another nurse entering the room. She said, "I wanted to tell you that he's ok now. You got him here just in time, and we were able to keep him alive."

Yumi sighed and flopped back on her bed, relieved that Ulrich was ok. The tension in the room seemed to disappear. Yumi was glad that it was over. She had beaten the voice in her head. It was over. She had won.


	13. Free Fall

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Free Fall**

Jeremy, Aelita, and Odd arrived back at school. Ulrich and Yumi were still up at the hospital, but they would be able to leave soon. As the three friends walked towards the school, Odd asked, "Why do think they did that? I mean, neither one of them has ever thought of doing something like this before. It's just not right."

Jeremy nodded, saying, "I know. It's weird, really weird. I'm pretty sure Xana had something to do with it, but there haven't been any activated towers."

Aelita added, "You can't be sure. He's gotten by the super scanner before you know."

"Yeah, I know. Well I guess I'll do a scan in my room."

"But what if he didn't do it?" Odd asked.

The three continued their walk in silence, no one being able to answer the question. Finally they arrived at the dorms. Odd left Jeremy and Aelita to scan for any towers, while he went back to his room. As he turned a corner, he saw someone standing in the hall. He looked and could see that it was William. Odd shouted, "Hey William. What's up?"

William looked over to him, and Odd quickly noticed something was wrong. His eyes were screwed up. It wasn't William, it was Xana! Odd turned around and ran down the hall, and William pursued him. Odd dialed Jeremy's phone number and said, "Xana's taken over William and he's chasing me! We've got to get to the fac…"

Odd was cut off by William grabbing him and throwing him up onto a flight of stairs. The impact with the stairs hurt Odd's arm, but he got up and quickly fled from William up the stairs. Odd soon arrived onto the roof, realizing that he was trapped. William followed him and had Odd cornered. Odd cell phone had been broken and his arm was banged up. Things didn't look good.

* * *

Jeremy shouted, "Odd? Odd, what's going on? He's gone."

"What happened?" Aelita asked.

"Odd's been attacked. What do we do? I don't know where Odd is, and Yumi and Ulrich aren't here."

Aelita replied, "We've got to get to the factory. That's the only way we can help."

"No way Aelita, it's too dangerous for you to go alone."

"But Jeremy, you know it's the only way we can help."

Jeremy stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. He sighed in defeat and said, "You're right. Let's go."

The two ran out of the room and headed for the factory.

* * *

Odd dodged another blow from William. He had been doing well so far, but William was slowly backing him towards the edge of the building, and he couldn't fight back. William threw another punch, which Odd avoided. However, as he stepped back, Odd's foot slipped over the edge of the school building, causing him to lose his balance. He started to fall and out of reflects, he grabbed William's arm. To his surprise, William's arm was solid. However, as Odd slipped over the edge of the school, William was pulled down with him. The two fell over the edge of the school, and headed straight for the ground. Odd saw the ground approach them quickly, and barely had time to react before he slammed into ground. Odd heard people screaming near-by, but he was knocked out cold very quickly, and saw and heard no more. 


	14. Tightening the Noose

**Chapter Fourteen**

**tightening the Noose**

Aelita and Jeremy ran down the halls of the school. As they approached the door, Jeremy suddenly heard a voice.

"Hello Jeremy."

Jeremy stopped. He thought his mind was playing tricks on him, but then he remembered back. Yumi had said she was hearing voices, so had Sissi. And now him. Too coincedental. Jeremy knew now what was causing the voice.

"You... you're Xana."

"Ahh, we have a smart one now. Yes, it's me. No lie. However Yumi and that brat didn't know it was me. I was rather disappointed in Yumi."

"So you made them try to kill themselves didn't you?"

"Oh no Jeremy. I never made anyone do anything. The decisions were theirs. Let's just say I offered them suggestions."

"Fed them lies, and them screwed up their emotions, am I right?"

"Well, it seems you're on the ball today Jeremy. Looks like I won't be able to fool you with lies and deceit. Guess I'll just do it the old fasion way."

Jeremy's body suddenly froze up. He couldn't move. Then, like a robot, it started walking on its own. Jeremy tried to fight against himself, but his body wouldn't responde to him. It simply turned around and walked back towards the dorms.

* * *

Aelita walked outside and immediately heard screaming. She looked and saw that there was a group of people gathered around something. She ran over to see what was wrong, and was horrified by the sight. Odd lay on the ground, unconscious. Underneath him was William. Blood was pooling around them. Aelita asked someone near-by what had happened and learned that they had fallen off the roof of the school. They had just barely missed the concrete. Aelita turned to ask Jeremy what they should do, to find that he was gone. Aelita looked around but couldn't see him anywhere. Had he gone back inside?

* * *

Jeremy's body opened a utility closet and went in. In his head, Jeremy heard Xana say, "So many ways, and only one try. Let's see... oh yes that will do."

Jeremy's arm reached forward and picked up a lenght of rope. Jeremy began to seriously worry then. Xana was going to try and hang him! His body turned and left the closet, gently shutting the door behind it. Xana began speaking again, "I wonder Jeremy, what do you think Aelita will do when she finds that you are dead? And that a tower in Lyoko is active, and her remaining friends, who are all unable to help, are in danger. Do you think she will throw caution to the wind, and attempt to deactivate the tower alone?"

"You sick freak! That was your plan the whole time wasn't it?"

"Indeed it was. Attacking you fools was a bonus. Too bad none of you died from it. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. Right, Jeremy?"

They had reached Jeremy's room. His body opened the door, walked in and moved his chair under the ceiling fan. It then began to tie the rope around the fan in a tight knot. Jeremy continued to try and fight, but it was no use. He couldn't do a thing. Then, his body started tying the rope around his own neck. Jeremy began to lose hope. It was over. Then, just has the rope was tied, the door opened up and he heard a voice ask, "Jeremy, are you in here?"

Aelita stepped through the door and gasped as she saw Jeremy standing there, ready to hang himself. Before she could react, Jeremy's body kicked the chair and let itself fall. The sound of the rope snapping tight echoed through the halls of the school. But Jeremy could no longer hear it.


	15. Suicide

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Suicide**

If you had walked into the dormitories of Kadic High at that instant, you may have thought it was silent. The students were mostly outside, or in the school building itself. But if you listened carefully, you could hear the sound of both life, and death. Perhaps you would hear the sound of crying, or tears hitting the floor. Or maybe the sound of a dead heart beating. But the one sound you would not hear is the voice that was not truly a voice, whispering inside the heart of Aelita Hopper. She had untied Jeremy and laid him on the floor. Her mind was racing, and yet she didn't know what to do. She was panicking. She shook Jeremy and said, "Jeremy? Jeremy please, you can't die! Please say something!"

Jeremy simply lay there, his head bobbing back and forth as she shook him. Finally, Aelita gave up and simply sat there crying. She was confused and scared. She couldn't understand why Jeremy had done this. It didn't make any sense. Then she heard a noise, like an alarm. She looked up and saw that Jeremy's computer had detected a tower. Aelita simply looked at Jeremy with grief in her eyes. She knew what she had to do. She stood up and left the room. She had to save her friends, and everyone else.

* * *

Aelita walked to the factory. She was going to fix everything. She ignored the voice, or rather, the feeling in her heart that told her that her plan would not work. She knew it would work. It had to. She reached the elevator and went down. Down past the computer room, past the scanners, to the bottom. To the super computer itself. The feeling in her heart grew more urgent and desperate, telling her this wouldn't work, that her friends would not want this. She opened the panel on the side of the computer and placed her hand on the power switch to the computer. This was the only way to fix everything. As her fingers tightened on the switch, she grew scared. She didn't want to die. But she quickly dismissed those thoughts and tightened her grip on the switch even more. She was determined to end this whole war right now. No matter what. 

Just as she was about to pull the switch and destroy Xana and herself, she heard a voice.

"So are you… giving up?"

The voice hadn't been in her head. It had been real. And despite sounding injured, small, and damaged, she knew who it was. But she couldn't believe he was here. Her fingers loosened on the switch, and finally she released it altogether.

She said, "I thought… you were… gone." She turned around, still unsure that he was real. But to her disbelief, he was standing there, clutching his throat, and leaning against the elevator door. He smiled at her, coughed, and said, "No. Just a little… out of breath."

"Jeremy…"

She ran over to him and threw herself around him. She said, "I thought you were dead. How did you…?"

Jeremy said, "You can't always judge if someone is dead or not… just from looking at them. I'm alright."

She asked, "But why did you do that? Why did you try to…"

"I didn't… I… wasn't the one doing that. It was… Xana. He set the whole thing up. He tried to kill me… and tried to make everyone kill themselves, to get to you. He wanted you to go to Lyoko alone. That was his plan… the whole time. But he messed up. He didn't kill anyone. He couldn't take control of Yumi, Ulrich, or Odd… so he was forced to mess with their minds instead. And even then… they fought against him so well that I'm sure he barely has enough energy left to finish this attack. He wanted you to go to Lyoko alone to try and deactivate a tower. But you… didn't. You would have killed yourself instead… Why?"

"Because, I thought you were dead. And I just lost all hope. I didn't know what to do. I…"

Jeremy held Aelita closer to him and said to her, "I'm sorry Aelita. I let you down."

She quickly said, "No! No you didn't Jeremy. It wasn't your fault."

Jeremy smiled at her, then reached over and hit the elevator button. Aelita looked at him in a curious way and he said to her, "Well, ready to save Odd?"

The elevator arrived and the two got in and rode it to the computer room. Jeremy went in, sat down in his usual spot, and clicked on the keyboard for a second. He looked over at Aelita and said, "It's weird to think… that it'll be like it had never happened."

He clicked the enter button. A bright light encompassed everything. It seemed to drive out the voice in Aelita's heart. It was like it had never been there.


	16. Mental Silence

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Mental Silence**

Ulrich opened his eyes to the noise of his alarm clock. He reached over and shut off the noisy machine, and then looked around his room. Odd slowly sat up, looked around sleepily, and said, "Oh good. I'm not splattered everywhere after all."

Ulrich got up, gathered his clothes, and said, "I'm not even going to ask." He needed a nice, cold shower.

* * *

"And that's pretty much what happened." Jeremy concluded. 

Odd shrugged and said, "Same old Xana stuff, huh? You think he'll ever get bored with trying to kill us?"

"Not if he's anything like Sissi," Ulrich said. At this Odd looked around and saw that Sissi was actually walking towards them. He leaned down next to Ulrich and asked, "So, you going to tell her off again, or what?"

Sissi approached Ulrich, threw back her hair, and said, "Hey Ulrich."

Ulrich smiled up at the girl and said, "Hi Sissi. What can I do for this fine day?"

"I just want to talk. That's all."

Yumi muttered, "Haven't been talking to yourself enough lately or something?"

Sissi looked at the girl slightly confused, but mostly annoyed. Yumi just smiled at her and said, "What? I didn't say anything."

Sissi merely scoffed at her and turned to Ulrich saying, "I'll just talk to you later, ok Ulrich?"

With that she walked off. Odd looked at Yumi and said, "You know you really don't have room to talk."

"Shut up Odd."

The five friends sat there, together, happy. The silence of their minds was once again restored. Depression, hate, guilt, pain. These things were far from their minds now. Right now, they were happy. They had overcome, in a sense, the darkness of human nature. They were alive, and they were together. And though they knew, that more pain, more guilt, more hate and depression would follow, they knew that they could still overcome it. They were happy, they were alive, and they were together. Their minds were quiet, once more.


End file.
